The Emissivity of Loss: Rejection
The emissivity of my MS — Chapter 03 of the 04
A reflection on shades of my former self…
Moving into 2023’s bike MS weekend, I found it necessary to review and revise a blog series from 2019. My words are stronger, my body is weaker, my message is more relevant than ever before.
R — A — T — E
REFLECTANCE — ABSORBANCE — TRANSMITTANCE — EMISSIVITY
Call it what you want. Moving on, Pushing Aside, Retiring, Replacing, Unwilling, Unable, Unsafe. Any way you slice it, my MS has led to much more loss than the sensation of my nerves and atrophy of my muscles. It swept aside promising careers as a leader in both the US Army and corporate America when I could no longer do the job for which I was once desired. Past adventures have been relegated to “back in the day” stories. I dismissed relationships and connections because of my MS — the fear of the unknown, the resentment over what I no longer offered, and attempts to reject my personal struggles. What I once loved, stood for, desired to be, or hoped to learn are now all indices in my accumulation of losses.
I write about my losses as a REFLECTION of the man I was before MS came into my life. All too often, those images are the first things many people see. Loss and rejection are often…
